Why is Gratitude never there when you need it?

Yesterday evening, I realised that a best laid plan was struggling to come to fruition.  I won’t get bogged down in the detail of what it was, but suffice to say that I had expended time, energy and money, only to receive some knock backs and an absence of support for my idea.  I was annoyed and a bit sad.  As a result, what I felt I needed at the time was a big dose of gratitude for who I am, what I have in my life and family and friends who love me, to get me back on track.  Could I find any gratitude?  Not a chance.  It occurred to me (I wondered!) that sometimes the urge for positivity at all costs (some call it Toxic Positivity) can be more draining than sitting with your uncomfortable feelings for a while.  I decided to see what happened if I felt rather deflated and sad for a while (some call it Feeling the Feels).  What I discovered was interesting.  It took a lot less energy to feel sad for a while and process my disappointment than it would have taken trying to shoehorn my mood into something more positive (I have spent a significant amount of time following that strategy – yes, overthinking!).  By the time I went to bed, I had made peace both with the situation and my feelings about it.  It felt authentic.  This morning, I found the gratitude I sought without trying and also the resulting calm state of mind which makes a smooth journey through the day much easier. 

If you recognise something here, if it rings a bell about your own personal experience and if it feels right, then get in touch and we can discuss how I can work with you!

Contact me on jackie@jackiekingturner.co.uk or 07785 992928.  I look forward to hearing from you!


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