Old friends and colleagues may remember that I used to be a very keen horse rider. I have let equestrianism take a back seat in the last few years, but recently decided I’d give riding a go again. I had a private lesson at a local riding school with a very supportive teacher, who really understood what it meant to me to start riding again. She said that she had two specific pieces of advice for me: remember to breathe and don’t overthink. Wise advice and relevant when not on a horse too!
What If is the Achilles heel for overthinkers. What if I fall off, what if the horse trips, what if I can’t do this any more. All these What Ifs and more went rushing through my head. Until they stopped and the sheer joy of being back on a horse took over. As my teacher said, no overthinking!
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) describes What Ifs as fears which we cannot control. With this in mind, we are counselled to cast them aside and devote a specific time (Worry Time) to planning how to address the worries we can control. I have an additional suggestion. Let’s swap the What Ifs for How Abouts? This works to deflate the overthinking and doom forecasting by implying a positive and forward-thinking outlook. How about I really enjoy being back on a horse again? How about I have gentle expectations about what I can do during my first riding lesson in decades? How about the sky isn’t falling down (with apologies to Chicken Licken). How about this might work out just fine?
Give it a go and let me know what you think!
In the meantime, if you feel stuck in a cycle of “What Ifs”, call me on 07785 992928 or email me on jackie@jackiekingturner.co.uk and let’s work on moving to the world of “How Abouts”!
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