There was a poetry competition every Spring Term at our daughters’ junior school. Without fail, every year, someone would have learned “Warning”, by Jenny Joseph, relishing the lines about wearing purple and learning to spit! I was amazed to learn that Jenny wrote it aged 29 in 1961. The poem has certainly stood the test of time.
To me, the poem relishes the option that growing older opens up new opportunities to be oneself, perhaps after decades of conforming to expectations. Becoming a “woman of a certain age”, provides freedom of expression and behaviour. As I write this, I’m aware that people, myself included, describe my life stage rather euphemistically. I prefer the idea of reclaiming the power of being a woman with decades of experience, whether highs or battle scars. My body may have started to work in a different way, and I may look like I’ve lived, but that certainly doesn’t condemn me to a life of invisibility, sidelined from new adventures.
Coincidentally, I’m writing this as we approach the pagan festival of Samhain, a Gaelic word pronounced “sow-win”. It is observed from sunset on October 31st to sunset on November 1st. Samhain marks the Celtic New Year, the end of summer, and the end of the harvest season. It is about celebrating the cycle of death and rebirth, which is seen in nature constantly and which is mirrored within us. As we travel through life, we constantly shed and release what does not serve us and take on what we need to move forward. It is important to make peace with what we have discarded and be open to accept what is coming our way. Now is an ideal time of year to reflect, as we cosy up indoors more.
For women approaching or going through the menopause, the transitions can be challenging emotionally and painful physically. I would always recommend seeing a medical professional who specialises in the menopause. After all, we’re not ill, we’re changing! That notwithstanding, there is much to be said for embracing the transitions we face with self-compassion and calm, rather than fighting to reclaim who we once were. I have learned the hard way that while making effort towards a goal is positive and useful, once that energy tips into a teeth-gritting striving, very little good is likely to come from it. The words which I take with me into this new stage of my life are Balance, Acceptance and Compassion. The last few years have provided so many unexpected blessings and challenges. I now find it easier to accept that so much of what occurs is not what I would have foreseen, whether good or bad. It saves so much energy not needing to control and plan for every eventuality. My younger self would find this very hard to believe – a real benefit from being that bit older. And yes, it also allows me to enjoy what I’m doing when I’m doing it!
In case some of you consider that I’m being a bit “Pollyanna-ish”, please let me reassure you that my boat can rock and even capsize! As a Reiki Master, I do however have a life raft of tools and techniques to get me back on an even keel. I have trained to live my life by the 5 Reiki Precepts: –
Just for today, do not anger.
Just for today, do not fear.
Just for today, be honest.
Just for today, be humble.
Just for today, be compassionate.
Somehow, bringing the timeline close (just for today) allows these precepts to seem achievable. Sometimes I need the timeline to be even closer (minutes, anyone!). Accepting my advancing years and changing body gives me more peace than fighting every step of the way. I’m happy to use the modern medicines which serve me. I have also surprised myself by relinquishing a need for control and knowledge about the future. My life experience (age) and training have provided me with this comfort.
Sending you blessings, love and light as we approach Samhain and the winter months. I leave you with the words sung by the inimitable Doris Day: “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)”. Let’s move into this new stage of life with confidence!
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